The time I contemplated suicide

As I have mentioned many times before, my father was in the army. He was never one of the officers, but was relegated to the lower sepoy ranks. As a result, we were never introduced to the splendour that comes with being the children of a man employed in the Indian Armed Forces.

While we were never well – to – do, our parents never gave us the impression that ours was a hand – to – mouth existence. But, as we were growing up, I could not help but notice the hardships that my parents had to go through to feed all four of us.

One day, I overheard my parents talking about how difficult it was getting to make ends meet. I was very young, and my young mind took their words and concocted them into something drastic, as most young minds are prone to do.

I decided to end my life as a solution to their financial problems. At least, they would have one less mouth to feed. I had heard that diamonds are pretty bad for our system; diamonds, when swallowed, cut through our insides and cause a quick death. Thus began my hunt for a diamond that I could swallow. My mother had a pearl, and being a young boy, I thought pearls and diamonds are the same. I remember asking my mother for the pearl. Of course, I never got it.

But, now that I look back, it all seems so foolhardy. Ending one’s life is never the solution.

Image Credits: https://pixabay.com/en/rope-noose-death-depression-1450187/

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